What is Alcoholism?
There are many different ideas about what alcoholism actually is.
The explanation that seems to make sense to most A.A. members is that alcoholism is a disease, a progressive disease that can never be cured but, like other diseases, can be managed. Going a step further, many A.A. members think that the disease is a combination of an allergy to alcohol and a mental obsession with drinking which, despite the consequences, cannot be overcome by willpower alone.
Before coming into contact with A.A., many alcoholics who can't stop drinking consider themselves morally weak or even mentally unbalanced.
For A.A., alcoholics are sick people who can recover if they follow a program that is simple and has been successful with more than two million men and women.
Once alcoholism has set in, there is nothing morally wrong with being sick. At this stage, willpower doesn't work because the patient has lost the power of choice over alcohol. The important thing is that they face up to the fact that they are ill and take advantage of the help available to them. They must also have the desire to get well. Experience shows that the A.A. program will work for all alcoholics who are sincere in their efforts to stop drinking, but it generally won't work for those who aren't absolutely sure they want to stop.
HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M REALLY AN ALCOHOLIC?
Only you can make that decision. Many people who are now in A.A. had heard that they were not alcoholics and that they just needed more willpower, a change of environment, more rest or more distractions to solve their problem. These same people ended up seeking A.A. because they felt deep down that alcohol had defeated them and they were willing to try anything that would free them from the compulsion to drink.
Some of these men and women went through terrible experiences with alcohol until they were able to admit that alcohol wasn't for them. They became criminals, stole, lied, cheated and even killed while drinking. They took advantage of their bosses and mistreated their families. They were completely irresponsible in their dealings with others. They squandered their material, mental and spiritual assets.
Many others, with much less tragic stories, also came to A.A.. They had never been arrested or hospitalized. Their excessive drinking might not have been noticed by their closest family and friends. They did, however, know enough about alcoholism as a progressive disease to be frightened. They joined A.A. before they had paid a heavy price.
In A.A. it's often said that you can't be a bit of an alcoholic. Either you are, or you're not. Only the person themselves can say whether alcohol has become an unmanageable problem for them. SeeIs A.A. for You?“
Can an alcoholic go back to drinking normally?
As far as we know, anyone who has become an alcoholic will never stop being one. Simply abstaining from alcohol for months or even years has never allowed an alcoholic to drink normally or in society again.
Once you cross the line between the binge drinker and the irresponsible alcoholic, there seems to be no going back. Few alcoholics deliberately drink to get into trouble, but trouble seems inevitable when an alcoholic drinks.
After stopping for a while, the alcoholic may think that it won't hurt to try a few beers or glasses of wine. This can lead to the illusion that they can avoid problems by drinking only at mealtimes, but it won't be long before they're back to their old pattern of binge drinking, despite all their efforts to stay within the bounds of a moderate and social way of drinking.
The answer to this question, based on A.A.'s experience, is that alcoholics will never be able to control their drinking. So, there are only two options left: to allow the drinking to get progressively worse with all the resulting harmful consequences, or to stop completely and develop a new pattern of sober and constructive living.
I can stay sober for quite a while between drinks; how do I know if I need A.A.?
Most A.A. members would say that it's the way you drink, not how often you drink, that determines whether or not you're an alcoholic. In the middle of their drinking spells, many problem drinkers can go weeks, months and sometimes years without drinking. During these periods of sobriety they may not even think about alcohol. Without much mental or emotional effort, they are able to choose between drinking and not drinking and prefer not to drink.
At some point, for inexplicable reasons or even for no reason at all, they get really drunk. They forget about their job, their family and other civic and social responsibilities. The binge can last a single night or go on for days or weeks. When it passes, the drinker feels very weak and full of remorse, determined not to let it happen again. But it does happen.
This "periodic" way of drinking is disconcerting, not only for those around the drinker, but also for the drinker themselves. He or she cannot understand how it is possible to have so little interest in alcohol during these periods of abstinence, nor the lack of control when he or she starts drinking.
The periodic drinker may or may not be an alcoholic. But if their drinking has become uncontrollable and the period between binges is getting shorter and shorter, it's probably time to face up to the problem. If the person is ready to admit that they are an alcoholic, then the first step has been taken towards the continued sobriety that thousands and thousands of A.A. members enjoy.
If I join A.A., won't everyone know I'm an alcoholic?
Anonymity has always been, and is, the basis of the A.A. Program. After being in A.A. for a while, most members don't mind it being known that they are part of a fellowship that helps them stay sober. Traditionally, A.A. members never reveal their connection to the movement in the press, on the radio or in any other media. And no A.A. member has the right to break another's anonymity.
This means that a newcomer can join A.A. secure in the knowledge that none of his new friends will violate confidentiality relating to his drinking problem. The older members of the group understand the newcomer's feelings. They remember their own fears of being publicly identified with what seemed like a terrible word - "alcoholic".
Once in A.A., newcomers may find it funny that, in the past, they worried that it would come out that they had stopped drinking. When alcoholics drink, news of their escapades spreads with remarkable speed. Most alcoholics already have a reputation as a big time drunk when they seek A.A.. With rare exceptions, their drinking habits are probably no secret to anyone. In these circumstances, it would indeed be unusual if the good news of the alcoholic's continued sobriety didn't also provoke comment.
Whatever the circumstances, no one but the newcomer himself can reveal his connection to A.A., and even then, only in such a way as not to harm the fellowship.
If I don't drink, how can I do well in business, where I have to make a lot of social contacts?
Nowadays, social drinking has become an integral part of the business world. Many contacts with clients and potential clients are arranged to coincide with occasions when cocktails, drinks or aperitifs seem to be an essential part of the day or evening. Many of today's A.A. members would be the first to admit that they have often done important business in bars, hotel rooms and even during private house parties.
However, it is surprising how much work is done around the world without the aid of alcohol. Just as it is surprising for many alcoholics to discover how well-known businessmen, industrialists, artists and other professionals have succeeded without relying on alcohol. In fact, many of those who are sober in A.A. today admit that they used "business contacts" as one of several excuses to drink. Now that they no longer drink, they find that they actually get more done than they did before. Sobriety has proved to be no hinderance to their ability to make friends and influence people who could contribute to their economic success.
This is not to say that all A.A. members have suddenly started avoiding their drinking friends or business associates. If a friend wants to have a cocktail or two before lunch, the A.A. member usually has a soda, coffee or juice. If he is invited to a cocktail party for business reasons, he usually doesn't hesitate to go. The alcoholic knows from experience that the other guests are more interested in their own drinks than those of others.
As he begins to feel proud of the quality and quantity of his work, the newcomer to A.A. will probably discover that success in business is still based on how effectively it is carried out. This simple truth wasn't so obvious when he was drinking. Back then he was certainly convinced that friendliness, geniality and sociability were the keys to success in business. In fact, although these qualities are useful for the person who drinks in a controlled manner, they are not enough for the alcoholic because, when he drinks, he tends to give them much more importance than they deserve.
DOES A.A. WORK FOR THE PERSON WHO HAS REALLY HIT BOTTOM?
Experience shows that A.A. works for almost everyone who really wants to stop drinking, whatever their economic or social situation. A.A. today has many members who have been in the gutter, in jails or other public institutions. A poor and marginalized person cannot feel inferior when joining A.A. Their fundamental problem, what has made their life unmanageable, is identical to the central problem of all other A.A. members. You don't judge the value of an A.A. member by the clothes they wear, the way they talk or their bank account. The only thing that counts in A.A. is whether the newcomer wants to stop drinking. If he does, he's welcome. He may well be amazed to discover how many other members can tell much worse stories when it comes to revealing pasts and experiences similar to his own.
Do alcoholics come to A.A. already sober?
Most men and women seek out A.A. when they reach the lowest point in their drinking journey. However, this is not always the case. Many people have entered the fellowship long after they have had what they hoped would be their last drink. One of them, recognizing that he couldn't control his drinking, had been without a drink for six or seven years before becoming an A.A. member. However, his sobriety had not been a happy experience. The growing tension and the various disorders caused by the small problems of everyday life were about to lead him to new experiments with alcohol, when a friend suggested that he should seek out A.A. He has been a member of A.A. for several years now, and says that there is no comparison between the happy sobriety he has today and the joyless abstinence he used to have.
Others talk about similar experiences. Although they know that it is possible to remain sadly abstinent for considerable periods of time, they say that it is much easier for them to appreciate and strengthen their sobriety when they meet and work with other alcoholics in A.A.ike most of the human race, they see no advantage in doing things the hard way. Given the choice of sobriety with or without A.A., they deliberately choose A.A..
Why is A.A. interested in problem drinkers?
A.A. members have a personal interest in offering help to other alcoholics who have not yet achieved sobriety. First of all, they know from experience that this kind of activity, which they often call " Step Twelve" service, helps them to stay sober. Their lives now have a great and stimulating purpose. It's likely that the memories of their own previous experiences with alcohol help them avoid the overconfidence that could lead to a relapse. Whatever the explanation, A.A. members who are willing to help other alcoholics rarely have trouble staying sober.
The second reason why A.A. members feel a great need to help problem drinkers is that, in this way, they have the opportunity to give back to those who have helped them in A.A. It is the only practical way for the individual to help others. It's the only practical way that the individual can pay their debt to A.A. The A.A. member knows that sobriety can't be bought and that there is no long-term guarantee. However, he knows that he can have a new way of living without alcohol, if he honestly wants it and is willing to share it with those who follow. Traditionally, A.A. never "recruits" members, doesn't try to convince anyone to become a member and never asks for or accepts outside contributions.
If I go to a meeting, does that oblige me to do anything?
No. A.A. does not keep files on its members, nor does it keep an attendance register. It doesn't need to disclose anything about you. No one will bother you if you don't want to come back.
What happens if you meet people you know at A.A.?
They will be there for the same reason as you. They won't reveal your identity to outsiders. In A.A. you have as much anonymity as you want. This is one of the reasons why we call ourselves Alcoholics Anonymous.
A new way of life
In fact, a way of life cannot be explained: it has to be lived. Descriptive literature based on vague, inspired generalities tends to leave many questions unanswered and many readers unconvinced that they have found what they were looking for and needed. At the other extreme, a list of mechanisms and details about a program to live can also only give a partial view of the virtues of such a program.
A.A. is a Program for a new way of living without alcohol, a Program that is working successfully for thousands of men and women who seek it out and apply it with honesty and sincerity. It is working all over the world and for men and women from all stages of life.