The program is simple if I don't complicate it.
What seemed impossible to me has happened! I never dreamed or believed that it would be possible to live without alcohol.
It was the end of the summer of 2005 when I started to consider quitting alcohol, but I had few illusions; after spending almost 30 years drinking, the desire to quit wasn't very strong. However, several factors weighed heavily on my decision: spiritual bankruptcy, discriminatory attitudes, impending economic ruin, fear of being prohibited from driving, risk of losing my job, impending divorce, lack of respect for my family, colleagues, myself, and society in general…
Finally, who was I? How did I let this happen to me? How far did I let myself go? Why does this only happen to me? — I asked myself.
Me, who spent my youth judging people who, after drinking too much, mistreated their wives and children, caused disturbances in cafes, on the streets and in bars; at football games and everywhere else! I used to tell myself: "I'll never be one of those!" Well, I ended up being one of them — and perhaps even worse.
I'm not proud of it, but it was the truth. He kept drinking and sweeping the accumulating problems under the rug.
I began to lose my shame and self-respect. Every now and then, someone's voice would tell me: "You can quit! Alcohol will kill you slowly!" And I, in my small hope, swore: "One day I'll quit for good." But I made so many unfulfilled promises to myself that even I no longer believed in them. I was aware that this couldn't last much longer, because my body began to give increasingly clear signs. The lab tests I had done confirmed what I feared most, but had always insisted on ignoring.
On what I consider my first day of sobriety, I sought medical help. I was hospitalized in a clinic for about 18 days, after which I returned home "cured," left to my own devices. Fortunately, after a few days, I learned about Alcoholics Anonymous, and that was the beginning of everything. What confused me was finding people who had been sober for many years still attending Alcoholics Anonymous. And I wondered, intrigued: "After so many years without drinking, what are these people doing here?"
As the days went by, I realized that the more time I spent in the program, the more meetings I needed. Nowadays I have many reasons to be grateful and nothing to demand, because AA gave me the necessary tools to work the program, which is simple—if I don't complicate it. At the end of each day, my heart overflows with love and joy for another day of sobriety.
Once again, I want to thank Alcoholics Anonymous for existing, because today it is the reason I am still part of the human race. I cannot express in words how happy I am to be sober—free from alcohol. I am grateful not only for sobriety, but also for the quality of life it provides me.
- Valente